A Winters Broadcast
Script for winter solaces edition
of “Matt and John”,
Matt Good evening and welcome to the program that discusses the issues
that affect you.
John Yes and tonight we examine the industrial case that has split
the local farming community in two. Also
the royal visit that set the palace rumour mill into overdrive.
Matt But first we examine Squatters.
Yes you see them around, try to ignore them but why are they there and
what can we do about them. We go to Mark
our man on the street to find out.
On location,
Mark Thanks Matt, now what would you do if you found squatters on your
property, well local man Peter Simmonds had just this
problem. He owns a local pub and often
puts up lodgers but even he was shocked when squatters moved in on his stable. Peter would you like to tell us about it.
Peter Well, err, I was like just putting the feed out for the animals,
you know, before I went to bed like and there was this couple in there right.
Mark In the stable itself?
Peter Yeah, just sat on the straw, I mean, you wouldn’t catch me doing
that, never know what you’re sat in but they both looked so tired I hadn’t the
heart to kick them out.
Mark Did you speak to them?
Peter Um, not really, they’re from
Mark What does your wife say about this.
Cut to large woman serving drinks
in the pub.
Wife Well I think it’s disgusting, he’s twice her age and she’s
already up the spout, even had the baby in there, its not what I call hygienic
(sniff) anyways they say there just here
for the census, well they could be here till the messiah turns up for all I
know. I’ve told them, if there not out
by the Sabbath I’m calling in the centurion.
Cut back to the main street
Mark Obviously a strong minded woman, so what are you going to do with
them?
Peter Well, they’re not doing any harm, if they are still there at the
week end I guess I’ll have to call in the authorities, but I mean they’ve a
child and I don’t want to drop them in it.
The blokes a bit of a carpenter, so I’ve said if he can patch up the
stable I’ll give em a meal, hell the girls just had a
baby I don’t want that on my conscience.
Mark So there we have it, two more victims of the Roman state, when will
Pilate realise that however strict his new criminal code is, unless more is
done to aid the homeless, people will still be out on the streets. Back to the
studio.
Cut back to the studio, Matt sat
behind desk, John out of sight.
Matt Thanks Mark, Now many of you know about the recent troubles with
Bethlehem International Sheep and Shepherd.
The company that owns nearly ninety percent of sheep in this area with
substantial flocks all across
Cut to a rough looking man with
an obvious chip on his shoulder, a typical union rep with a crook. John is standing next to him looking
understanding.
Linus It
is obviously an attempt by the company to cut overheads and avoid redundancy
payouts, everyone knew they wanted to get rid of some people and were just
waiting for an excuse to sack people.
John We have in our possession a letter from the company it reads.
Dear Sirs
With
regards to the recent unfortunate events involving company shepherds. The events of the night in question were as
follows. At 9.15 p.m. a company
inspector made a routine check on flock D9B.
The flock were unattended indeed a lamb was missing, temporary staff
were immediately sent for and arrived at 9.32 to find the regular staff just
returning. The shepherds claimed they
had had a message from “angels in the sky.”
It
appeared that not only had they abandoned their post (itself a sackable offence) leading to the loss of valuable company
property but from the sound of it had consumed considerable quantities of
alcohol at least we assume it was an alcoholic beverage that caused them to see
angels.
Regrettably
we felt that we had no alternative but to terminate the contracts of these
employees.
Yours
Sincerely
T.
C. Landers
Company solicitor.
Do
you want to tell us your side of the story?
Linus Well
me and the lads were just sat round, you know passing the time when we got the
message that there was a new baby just born in town and like its traditional,
we penned up the sheep took a lamb for luck you know present for the Mother,
and went to pay us respects Everyone knows its just what shepherds do. As for the angel bit (looks
uncomfortable) well just a misunderstanding,
it was Angela, Godfrey’s Missus that told us.
John Well those are the stories now to our legal correspondent Luke .
Cut to serious looking man.
Luke I’m afraid I do have to support the company in this one. According to the contracts the shepherds do
have to stay with the sheep. Technically
the removal of the lamb was theft so I cannot really see any grounds for
appealing against their dismissal.
Although there does seem to be some confusion over the initial message
it has no real bearing on the case.
It
does seem to be just another example of the misunderstandings that can occur
when traditional farming is taken over by business and run using modern
business methods.
Cut back to John.
John Well personally I feel the BIS acted rather harshly and could
have been more respectful of ancient traditions but they are the biggest
employer in the area and while many workers support the unfortunate shepherds
they are in too much fear for their own jobs to come out in support.
Matt Now onto a lighter note, you wait years for a royal visit then
three kings turn up at once! Yes the ever popular Caspar, Balthasar
and Melcior were in town yesterday. According to advance reports they were
looking for a new heir to the throne. In
the event though, it turned out to be just another goodwill tour. After the de-rigour trip to the palace and
the photo shoot with Herod it was onto the streets to meet the people. Being good will ambassadors, the trio found
time to visit some of the areas homeless and showed their commitment to charity
with gifts.
They
followed all this up with a trip round the backstreets, managing to avoid the
press and slipping quietly away in the early hours of the morning. Best of wishes to the royal highnesses.
Well
happy solstice and see you all next week!